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Different Voices – October 1st, 2003

Opinion and ideas differ from generation to generation. Here, three women spanning three generations share their views.
All the three were thrown the same questions and it is for you to conclude from their answers if a) Is generation gap still existing? b) Has it been overcome? c) Has it been widened?

Older Generation:
Mrs: Kannambal (House wife)

Middle Generation:
Mrs: Valli Rajan (Tutor)

Younger Generation:
Mrs: Sivakami (Programmer analyst)

Q. Joint family or small independent family. Which is the best?

Mrs: Kannambal

If everyone in the family holds similar habits and beliefs, then, the joint family system is appreciable. Every one can benefit. If everybody can get along well, then, any day, I would say joint family system is the best.

Mrs: Valli Rajan:

If there is understanding and compromise among the family members, joint family system is conducive. But the fact is that there is a little understanding between the younger generation living in the computerized world and the older generation ingrained in the old traditions. More over there is less privacy in the joint family. So, small independent family is the best.

Mrs: Sivakami:

In olden days, joint family system was appreciated. These days people expect more freedom and it is viable only in small independent family. Still if the family members interact often, then they can draw the mental strength and can be more disciplined and that will also help in following the culture and family tradition.

2.Q. Do women working lead to more problems in the family or does it help solve them?

Mrs: Kannambal:

It depends on the family situation. In general it leads to materialistic satisfaction. But the children do suffer with out proper care. If there is a help in the family, then those women can opt for full time job.

Mrs: Valli Rajan:

It solves the financial problem. But other problem arises.

Mrs: Sivakami:

If we have elder’s support to take care of the family and children, then those women can pursue their job. If not it is better to stay back home and take care of their children.

3. As Indian expatriates live miles apart from their relatives, do you think the level of love towards them increases or decreases?

Mrs: Kannambal:

Though we live miles apart, Do not we long for their love? When we fall ill or during the small family functions, we miss our family members back home. As far as we make frequent visits to India, the love for our family members will not drop.

Mrs: Valli Rajan:

Though we live miles apart, the love will not decrease. Whether it increases, varies and depends upon the nature of the love that one shares. Definitely the love can never reduce. Due to the work load we don’t think about them that much. But through contacts via E-mail, telephone, we can keep up the same degree of love.

4. Which weighs high in the scale ‘Money or Love’?

Mrs: Kannambal:

Love can not be traded or money. Only true love can bring the satisfaction. So my vote would be definitely for love.

Mrs: Valli Rajan:

Money can bring materialistic satisfaction. But only true love can bring mental peace.

Mrs: Sivakami:

In the course of earning money we should not erode the value of love. If asked ‘Money or Love’, only love will weigh high in the scale.

5. Do you think these days daughters and daughters-in-law are treated as par?

Mrs: Kannambal:

Though they are not treated as par in some families, in many families they are treated the same. Day keeps changing. So to-day’s mother-in-law was a daughter-in-law, so as today’s daughter-in-law will become mother-in-law tomorrow. So, I guess, a woman will treat both their daughters and daughters-in-law equally.

Mrs: Valli Rajan:

It is not only for the mother-in-law to treat their daughter-in-law like daughter. It is also vice versa. Other women in the family viz sisters-in-law should also be supportive. But, these days, I don’t think there is any possibility for these kind of understanding.

Mrs: Sivakami:

A woman plays a dual role of both mother and mother-in-law. So I guess they will treat both the daughter and daughter-in-law equally.